I don’t know about you, but just reading the title of this blog post has me slightly stressed.
As if finance weren’t a headache on their own, imagine adding another person with different opinions to the mix!
The answer to whether you should combine finances with your partner is, well, it depends. I know a lot us of hate when people say that, because it feels like a cop-out (and sometimes it is). But in this case it’s true.
What works for some, may not work for others.
So, below I break down how you can determine whether or not you should combine finances with a partner. At the end of the day, the answer depends on you- not just your values about money but also your requirements for a relationship.
How Do I Decide Whether or Not to Combine Finances with My Partner?
The first step is understanding your own feeling around money.
Below I list some questions to get you thinking about how you use money and how it makes you feel. Have a notebook handy, and write along with the prompts.
If your relationship with money and love is not so healthy-check out my post about how choosing the wrong lover can cost you.
Okay, girl! Let’s get into it.
If your relationship is healthy, and you’ve already determined that you’re with a financially stable partner, worth possibly combining finances with-then read on for the next steps.
First things first—let’s talk about your vibe with money. Picture this:
- If money were a person, what kind of relationship would you two have? Are you the besties who always have each other’s back, or is it more like a frenemies situation?
- When you think about spending, do you see it as a treat-yourself moment or do you feel a tiny twinge of guilt, like you’re cheating on your savings?
- Are you more of a ‘live in the moment’ spender or a ‘plan for the future’ saver? And how do you feel about where you fall on that spectrum?
- Do you see money as something that gives you freedom, or is it more like a tool you need to manage wisely to avoid stress?
- When you get paid, what’s your first thought: “Ooh, what can I buy?” or “How much can I save?” Or is it a mix of both?
Now, let’s dive into the partnership part:
- If you and your partner were to merge finances, do you think you’d be more of a duo who sets financial goals together, or would you prefer to keep things separate so each of you can have your own financial independence?
- How comfortable are you with discussing money openly with your partner? Are you both on the same page when it comes to spending and saving habits?
- If your partner made a big purchase without discussing it with you, how would that make you feel—totally cool or slightly freaked out?
- When you think about your future together, do you see your financial goals aligning, or do you think there might be some bumps in the road?
- What’s your ultimate financial goal as a couple? Do you both have a similar vision, or are there some differences in how you see your money working for you two?
Answering these should give you a clearer picture of where you stand with money and whether combining finances with your partner would feel like a power move or a potential stressor. What do you think?
Do what works for you.
The answer for me: it’s a mix. For all of the things we have to do together, such as pay bills, and all the things we want to do together such as buy a home, or save for our daughters college we do so in some sort of joint account ( whatever is necessary for the asset).
We have a joint billing, joint spending (for eating out and miscellaneous) and several joint savings account.
To figure out exactly how many accounts you need for your financial independence journey , you can refer to my blog post here, where I dive into greater detail on the topic.
In combination with those joint accounts, we also have our own separate spending accounts, we have a set amount of money sent to ourselves that we both agreed on.
That’s it!
Alright, babe! So, we’ve talked through the big question: should you combine finances with your partner?
The truth is, it all depends on your relationship with money and your shared goals. Use the questions we covered to get clear on what works best for you both.
Remember, there’s no one-size-fits-all. Just do what feels right for you!
I hope this post helped. Let me know if you guys would like me to go deeper on the topic!
XOXO, Fina.
